Post by wendyladi on Nov 8, 2020 2:27:56 GMT
This may not make any sense but I need to talk to someone and I know you guys are probably the ones to get where I am coming from the most.
I am not really worried about biden etc but I think in the back of my mind I thought the rapture would be shortly after the elections and I feel like I am stalled right now in life.
I am in no way questioning God, I just wish I had some direction. I am a person that has to have a project, something to do to wake up and face the day, especially with my health conditions. Something to focus on so I don't get depressed. So, for example I think why bother starting a crochet project if the rapture is soon or why bother to play computer games, like I think I have a low level of depression that stems from everything feeling purposeless and a waste of time but at the same time wanting to waste time so the rapture is closer, and so really wishing I had a time frame even though I know the Bible says be ready at all times and we are not to know etc. Does anyone else struggle with this paradox? Like I don't know how to set goals now. How to prioritize. Like part of me feels like I need to hurry and "cram" studying the Bible like I am studying for a test that I don't know the date yet, I just feel so shaken and like someone picked me up and put me in a time machine and I have no idea where to turn first. I am sure part of this or maybe even most of this is to learn to lean and trust in God but do you ever wish you knew what He was up to? All the while repeating to yourself, He is God and I am not, His ways are not my ways etc. Also, there is so much misinformation out there and it can be tempting to latch onto dates even when you know scripture and know he is coming as a thief in the night. I am trying to really ramp up my prayer life and be close to God so that even if I don't know when the rapture is, I can still feel His Guidance. Being disabled is a catch 22. There are days when all I can do is hang on for dear life and just try to fight the pain and the fatigue, and then there are other days I want to feel like there is a reason for me being here. Don't worry, I am not so deeply depressed that I would harm myself or anything, I just don't have anyone to talk about these feelings with because most of the Christians in my life aren't really eschatology-minded and I keep hearing the phrase occupy until he comes from some of the pastors I do listen to, and I don't know how to translate that into practical life.
Anyway, Please join me in prayer that God will use me in these last days and show me what my life is for whether it be 1 more minute 1 month, 1 year or 1 decade.
Thanks,
Wendy
I am not really worried about biden etc but I think in the back of my mind I thought the rapture would be shortly after the elections and I feel like I am stalled right now in life.
I am in no way questioning God, I just wish I had some direction. I am a person that has to have a project, something to do to wake up and face the day, especially with my health conditions. Something to focus on so I don't get depressed. So, for example I think why bother starting a crochet project if the rapture is soon or why bother to play computer games, like I think I have a low level of depression that stems from everything feeling purposeless and a waste of time but at the same time wanting to waste time so the rapture is closer, and so really wishing I had a time frame even though I know the Bible says be ready at all times and we are not to know etc. Does anyone else struggle with this paradox? Like I don't know how to set goals now. How to prioritize. Like part of me feels like I need to hurry and "cram" studying the Bible like I am studying for a test that I don't know the date yet, I just feel so shaken and like someone picked me up and put me in a time machine and I have no idea where to turn first. I am sure part of this or maybe even most of this is to learn to lean and trust in God but do you ever wish you knew what He was up to? All the while repeating to yourself, He is God and I am not, His ways are not my ways etc. Also, there is so much misinformation out there and it can be tempting to latch onto dates even when you know scripture and know he is coming as a thief in the night. I am trying to really ramp up my prayer life and be close to God so that even if I don't know when the rapture is, I can still feel His Guidance. Being disabled is a catch 22. There are days when all I can do is hang on for dear life and just try to fight the pain and the fatigue, and then there are other days I want to feel like there is a reason for me being here. Don't worry, I am not so deeply depressed that I would harm myself or anything, I just don't have anyone to talk about these feelings with because most of the Christians in my life aren't really eschatology-minded and I keep hearing the phrase occupy until he comes from some of the pastors I do listen to, and I don't know how to translate that into practical life.
Anyway, Please join me in prayer that God will use me in these last days and show me what my life is for whether it be 1 more minute 1 month, 1 year or 1 decade.
Thanks,
Wendy
