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Post by Deleted on Mar 16, 2014 16:42:02 GMT
I have a family member whose wife is addicted to drugs. They separated for 6 months and are now in counseling together and his wife is in counseling separately. They started living together again but she is obviously still doing drugs.
So the question is this. If he decides to get a divorce and finds someone else would that count as adultery? He is not a Christian nor is she but we are concerned about his soul.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 16, 2014 19:27:07 GMT
Rieom, it's important to remember that salvation is a gift from God, in His grace, through our faith. Not of works. (Ephesians 2:8-9) If your family member doesn't believe in Jesus Christ as his Saviour, then they are not saved yet. Regardless if he sins a lot or not.
I met a lady a couple of weeks ago at the Evangelical Church near where I live that told me she is now in her third marriage, because her other two marriages didn't work out. She is still saved, because of her faith and Christ having died in our place, for our salvation. We all sin in different things, and the punishment for any sin, big or small, is death, but we are redeemed through faith in Jesus Christ. (Romans 6:23)
I hope this answers your question. 
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Post by Deleted on Mar 16, 2014 20:52:46 GMT
Great answer, BrotherJohn. You beat me to the punch.  |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 16, 2014 22:01:31 GMT
It's also good to note that we're not hopeless. There's hope in praying for the Lord to reach out to them and open their eyes some day. My family (or at least the older folks in my family) believes in God, but they are Catholic, they are not yet convinced that salvation is by grace through faith and not of works, so they are still relying on their own works for salvation, which isn't the Way. Christ is the Way. I've had a couple of conversations with my mother about it in the past and asked for the Lord to one day open their eyes. Those conversations I had with her didn't seem to me like they helped, but all I and anyone with family members in the same situation can do now is trust.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2014 1:01:11 GMT
He is not saved YET BrotherJohn. We have been planting seeds for awhile now and have high hopes. So if he becomes saved and dissolves his marriage, would it still be a sin of adultery?
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Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2014 1:21:53 GMT
You don't need to worry about whether or not your family member commits a certain sin, be it adultery or another. We are under the covenant of grace, freed from having to obey the law, through Christ, because He fulfilled all righteousness for us and paid the price for our salvation. The only thing anyone needs to do is to have faith in Jesus as their Saviour, and at that point all sin is forgiven, past, future and present. God knows the hearts, and He won't condemn a person for sinning if they are saved, otherwise none of us would make it, because we all sin. All of the works in anyone's faith need to come out of love, not out of legalism. |
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Post by Benjamin on Mar 17, 2014 1:57:52 GMT
I think it's important to clarify what adultery is.
Adultery isn't so much a one-off sin as it is a state of being. It's the state one enters when giving something up to another that really only belongs to the husband or wife in a relationship; where one relationship violates the sanctity of another.
If this family member gets a divorce, then in the eyes of the world, his body, his affection, his time, his life, no longer belongs to his ex-wife, but to himself once more. Scripture, though, presents a different picture: the union of man and wife remains until death parts the two. Romans 7 makes this clear (despite not actually being about divorce).
So, obviously divorce is not God's intent for man. Matthew 5 states this explicitly. ...but God is not without understanding, and He is not without grace. Now, don't get me wrong, divorce isn't ever GOOD - but God knows the world we live in, and knows that things aren't always perfect, and that's why He tolerated it in the first place (Matthew 5:31-32); not as an acknowledgement that divorce is okay, but as an open acknowledgement that the world truly isn't.
In Matthew 5, the Pharisees confronted Jesus to ask what He thought of divorce. At this time, the Pharisees had essentially begun teaching that divorce was okay on ANY grounds.
Jesus disagreed, and replied that:
Now, from my own personal experience - and I won't go into too much detail here (not that I'm unwilling to give details, it's just not all relevant), I'm divorced. My ex-wife committed adultery while we were engaged (which I didn't find out about until 4.5 years into our marriage), and was abusive, both physically (she put me in hospital, after repeatedly punching me in the chest and rupturing my pericardium) and emotionally. That physical abuse eventually extended to the daughter we had together, which was the last straw. I took my daughter and fled - quite literally.
I'd like to think that my divorce is okay. The truth, though, is that it isn't. It never was. I think it had to be done, don't get me wrong - both to protect my daughter, and to protect whatever shred of humanity I actually had left at that point - but it is tolerated by God, not condoned by Him. The beautiful truth, though, on the flipside, is that nothing is beyond His forgiveness, either.
I've since remarried, and have a beautiful, happy home, with two gorgeous daughters and a loving (and almost as sarcastic as I am!) wife. The conclusion, in my mind? Divorce is not okay - but it's sometimes necessary. And God, being both loving and understanding, is utterly gracious. He knows. In a perfect world, things wouldn't be this way... but this is not a perfect world. He understands why we do what we do - and He is gracious and just, faithful and true. On a personal level, He has restored to me the things I longed for in the darkest times of my life, and blessed me beyond my imagination, regardless of the life that preceded this one. There is very little I've done in my life to deserve the grace that has been shown to me, but then, I guess that's precisely the point. Grace never is deserved - but God shows it to His children because it pleases Him to do so.
I hope that helps. It feels a bit like confused rambling, but there it is.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2014 2:04:38 GMT
Divorce is not okay - but it's sometimes necessary. And God, being both loving and understanding, is utterly gracious. He knows. In a perfect world, things wouldn't be this way... but this is not a perfect world. He understands why we do what we do - and He is gracious and just, faithful and true. |
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Post by intojoy on Mar 17, 2014 9:52:06 GMT
I have a family member whose wife is addicted to drugs. They separated for 6 months and are now in counseling together and his wife is in counseling separately. They started living together again but she is obviously still doing drugs.
So the question is this. If he decides to get a divorce and finds someone else would that count as adultery? He is not a Christian nor is she but we are concerned about his soul.
If they died today and God asked them why should He let them into heaven what would they say? What would you say? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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Post by Deleted on Mar 18, 2014 12:49:02 GMT
Benjamin, nicely put. Our God is certainly forgiving. Your post made me realize that I married a divorced man and I committed adultery. It was a sin I had to make right with God. I had chose not to marry again for many reasons. Thank you for sharing so honestly from your own life. I am glad you come through the clouds into the sunshine.
Intojoy: Very good question. Off the cuff, I would say they are both good people and please let them enter Your kingdom.
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Post by Benjamin on Mar 18, 2014 22:08:22 GMT
I should probably add that ultimately, the adultery really isn't the question.
If this person isn't saved, then their adherence to God's laws is pretty close to irrelevant. ...not that we should encourage sin, of course, but we shouldn't expect the same standards of the unsaved that we expect of ourselves.
Either way, it all comes down to this:
"In Christ alone".
If this person is unsaved, then that should be the priority right now. The rest will follow.
...particularly because, very soon, it will all be a moot point anyway. Time is so short. Only faith in Christ counts right now. Not being good, not staying away from adultery, not keeping the outside of the cup clean while the inside rots... faith alone. Goodness follows faith. Without faith, perceived goodness is just a clever form of deception.
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